Moving Beyond the Hurt that Gossip CausesI believe the best definition of gossip that I have found is this: gossip is saying something, even if it is true, with the intent to cause personal harm. By that definition we are all guilty. The family member that is considered to be a dead beat Co-worker is just plain lazy Person at church just gets on my nerves 7 All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and creatures of the sea are being tamed and have been tamed by man, 8 but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. 9 With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God’s likeness. 10 Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. 11 Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? 12 My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water. James 3:7-12 One of the best evidences of our spiritual condition is the words that we use and how we speak to and about other people. James again uses several word pictures here to describe this aspect of our spiritual lives and does so with two different sets of words. The first set that James uses here is blessing and cursing. To say that these words are exact opposites is an understatement. The word bless simply means to cause to prosper or to bring happiness and as Christians shouldn’t our words build others up and bring help to them. The word curse means to bring evil upon and when we use our words to hurt we are really doing nothing but bringing evil on others. The second set of words that James uses are the spring and the fig tree. These two images are really saying the same essential message that we can only produce one type of word from our lives. Just as a spring will produce one kind of water or a tree one kind of fruit, our tongues will produce one kind of effect. The truth is that we make the choice of what kind of impact our words will have on those around us. The things that we say are not a product of our mouths, they are a product of our spiritual condition. If we want to have spiritual growth, the tongue is one of the first things that Christ wants to have under His influence.
Search Results
Destructive Gossip: Poison to Family Relationships
Are You a Victim of Gossip Within Your Family?Destructive gossip in families is rooted in childhood hurts and resentments. A child who feels neglected, who is the family “scapegoat”, who has a sibling or siblings who seem to outshine him or her–that child is the one who often carries grudges into adulthood. That child tries
everything in his or her power to discredit the brother(s) or sister(s) whose “very presence” seemed to steal his or her “just desserts.” Let’s call the gossiper Flo. Flo’s anger is intense and is misdirected. The victim of destructive gossip, Mo, was a child at the same time as Flo. Mo didn’t do anything intentionally to hurt Flo. It is the parents who are responsible for a lopsided social order in families; it is the parents who choose to play favorites. The victim of destructive gossip is often paying for the sins of the parents. The sentence lasts a lifetime.Flo cannot acknowledge anything positive about Mo. Flo thinks that Mo is always favored by relatives, by parents, and by friends. Flo finds fault with everything about Mo, including his or her spouse and children. Flo is motivated to discredit Mo in every possible way. The problem is, Flo never feels any better. Flo cannot get filled up. In Flo’s eyes, Mo just keeps stealing the thunder. In a desperate attempt to achieve the status so longed for, Flo finally pulls out the big guns– destructive gossip. Flo knows exactly where to go and how to get started. Dial the gatekeeper of the rumor mill who is the one family member who specializes in spreading lies. It works. Family members who listen to the destructive gossip do not try to validate the accusations. They accept them hook, line, and sinker. Mo is accused and convicted without any chance of defense. Flo’s destructive gossip is painful enough, but the judgment and shunning by extended family members leaves Mo feeling isolated and betrayed.What is Mo to do?