Friends Are Not Always HelpfulIf he had said, “Sure, we’ll go for a drink”, or “Yes, let’s go for a meal”, I would have been fine with it; but instead he said, “It’s a date.” With those three words everything changed. Suddenly we were not just friends anymore, we were dating.Dating? Young people go on dates, but at forty-something, I could not be considered young anymore. I had not been on a date in such a long time. What exactly did older people do on a date? I knew what young people do on a date. I had been there, I had done that.
As a teenager I had been on countless dates. But then I met ‘the’ guy, got married, and that was the end of my dating days. And now, after a divorce, I had to do this again? “How do I do this?” I asked my friends.”Be cool,” Antoinette said.”Don’t expect too much,” Joan said.”Don’t get emotionally involved,” Rica said.Right, be cool, don’t expect too much, and don’t get emotionally involved. But I was already emotionally involved. I liked this guy from the moment we met. When he was around I was tongue tied, I became all fingers and thumbs. I turned into a complete klutz. So how was I going to be cool? “Just be yourself,” Antoinette said.”Don’t talk too much,” Joan said. “Men like to talk about themselves, so let him do the talking.”"Don’t get too personal,” Rica said. “And whatever you do, don’t let on that you like him.”Advice was coming at me left, right and centre. It seemed that everybody had some words of wisdom. More words of wisdom came on what to wear for the occasion.”Dress up,” Antoinette said, “You want to make it seem like you made an effort.”"Don’t dress up,” Joan said. “You don’t want to make it seem like you’re trying too hard.”"Don’t wear high heels. You don’t want to tower over him.” “Find out what he does for a living.”"Watch what and how much he drinks.”My friends were making me dizzy. If I had known they had so much advice to give on dating, I never would have told them I was going on a date. They were making me more nervous by the minute.
Aug
22