Celia Therapy

What Makes a ‘player’ a Player?The term ‘player’ as it is used in dating, is sort of a derogatory term. I guess, technically, that it could apply to women, but I’ve never heard it used this way, as it seems to apply only to men. Typically, a ‘player’ is a man who, in his interactions with members of the opposite sex, is only after one thing: sexual intercourse. In this way, the term ‘player’ is applied to all men who hit on women without any desire of building a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship. But that
 designation is incorrect in my opinion as I would define a player as, not just a man who is after sex, but one that lies and deceives to get it.Consider the following two hypothetical scenarios.In scenario one a man picks up a woman in a bar. They go back to his place and they have sex just a few hours after meeting. The woman offers the man his phone number and he never calls her. She then gossips about him, calling him a player.In scenario two a man picks up a woman in a bar again. They talk for a bit and the man makes suggestions that he is looking to settle down and is hoping to find the right girl. The woman explains that she is also interesting in starting a meaningful relationship and expresses attraction to the man.They talk over a couple of days via email and on the telephone before meeting again, this time at the man’s place. While they don’t make a verbal commitment to one another, things nonetheless, start to heat up. They have sex and after which the man is slow to replying to emails if he does at all. The woman then gossips about the man and calls him a player.In scenario one the designation of the man as a player is somewhat questionable. Though it’s hardly balanced there really are women out there who are just looking for sex and that’s their own business. I don’t think that a man should be called a player just because he has sex with a woman without committing. At least on the bar scene, no strings attached sex is not all that uncommon.